I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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