drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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