Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
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Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
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Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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