Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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