Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize