About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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