I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
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but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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