if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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