I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize