I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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