Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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