So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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