just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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