We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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