I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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