Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i dont even know how to be here
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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