I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize