Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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