And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize