mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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