haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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