Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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