I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
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Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
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I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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