vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize