The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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