i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize