How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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