I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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