clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
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I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
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It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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