Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
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