absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Randomize