he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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