I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize