Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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