I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize