That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The ass gains better be worth it
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize