He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize