i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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