I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize