Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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