just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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