I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
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some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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