Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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