I got chris browned last night
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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