i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize