Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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