my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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