so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
A+ Viking dick
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize