My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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