i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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